Bullet journaling. Morning meditations. Workout plans. I’ve tried many things over the years to build the “perfect” daily routine. Without one crucial piece of information, I kept hitting a wall. Learning that I am autistic has changed the game completely when it comes to designing a routine that works for me.
This is crucial, since many autistic folks, myself included, prefer and thrive on routine. That’s because predictability can reduce anxiety and lighten mental load or decision fatigue. But when I was trying to stick to a routine that was not optimized for me, I felt like I was “failing” when I deviated from it. Not only that, I was focused more so on productivity and appearances than my own health.
Read on for some ideas on how to support yourself as an autistic adult in your morning routine.
Some of these examples involve tools or routines that might not be accessible or useful for everyone. Those with higher support needs, for example, might rely on a support person’s availability for some tasks. The key idea is to identify what is in your control to meet your unique sensory, energy, and support needs.
Ease Transitions
The biggest issue I faced when trying to stick to a morning routine, in retrospect, was the pain of transitions. Ever since I was a child, I have felt a mix of fear and despair when trying to make it through all the tasks I need to do before heading to school or work. The outside world has always felt overwhelming to me, and my routines were not supporting the jolt of that transition from being cozy in my bed at home to being out in the world.
Even before understanding the reason for this, I was already implementing some transition-easing elements:
- Setting a quieter alarm near my bed 15 minutes before my loud alarm goes off in the other room
- Laying out my clothes before bed, and choosing from a limited selection of familiar outfit formulas
- Packing my work bag and lunch the evening before
- Eating the same breakfast every day
- Reserving time to say goodbye to my husband and each of our cats
- Wearing headphones and playing the same song or artist while getting ready
Prior to implementing these tips, it felt like a painful race to get out the door. I never want to go back to the feeling of awakening to a loud alarm from the other room. It’s far too abrupt, and puts me on a stressful path for the rest of the day.
Build In Rest and Quiet
When I am about halfway through my morning routine, I bundle up in a blanket on our futon and have 10-15 minutes of “cocoon time.” Now, this can backfire, as I might fall back asleep if I am extremely tired. But most days, after having my first cup of coffee, this actually helps me wake up. As my breakfast and coffee kick in, I can feel myself adjusting to being awake. Perhaps one of our cats joins me, or plays with a toy nearby. When the timer goes off, I’m ready to brush my teeth, wash my face, and get dressed.
Compare this to some of the tasks I was trying to integrate in past years. Writing a paragraph of my novel seemed so productive, but in reality, my brain was too stressed to be creative in the limited time before work. A morning run felt great after the fact, but there were too many transitions to make it sustainable. Between workout clothes, indoors/outdoors, being cold or hot and sweaty, and showering, I was creating at least as much stress as the run was alleviating. Now I can see that rest and quiet are valuable elements for me to build into my morning routine.
Support Sensory Needs
Morning tasks can be full of sensory challenges. Brushing my teeth first thing often makes me nauseous. Washing my face feels unpleasant. But I’ve found some creative ways to support myself.
- Immediately putting on a robe and slippers so I do not get cold
- Using a face scrubber tool to add sensory joy to face washing and making sure to let the water warm up
- Using my favorite toothpaste, Crest Sparkle Fun, and ditching my loud electric toothbrush (don’t worry, I added a water flosser to my evening shower routine!)
- Accepting that I hate eating solid food in the morning and having a premade smoothie with Chia seeds instead
- Keeping a small green-tinted migraine light in the bathroom that I can use instead of The Big Light
- Saving any kitty messes to clean up for later, when I am more awake and won’t get nauseous, e.g., spraying and leaving a cloth over the mess for now
- Keeping my glasses off until they are absolutely necessary, as it feels nice not to have anything on my face and to leave the world a little blurry (thank you, myopia)
Similar to rapid transitions, if I start my day with sensory overwhelm, I’m not going to be on a good path. And I know that the outside world will contain plenty of sensory challenges out of my control, so why subject myself to more when it’s in my power to change?
Evaluate Capacity and Adjust
Once I have gone through my morning routine, I am awake, nourished, clean, and dressed. Some days that is enough, especially if I am headed to the office! On work from home days or weekends, however, I might have time to incorporate some other tasks into my morning.
In order to acknowledge that my capacity shifts, I do NOT build repeating tasks into my morning unless they are fairly non-negotiable, such as brushing my teeth. Instead, I build in planning time. I set up the first page of my Rocket Book (not affiliated, just a fan) with one column for to-do items and one column for a schedule. When I have time to do so, I sit down with it, do a brain dump of to-dos, and then add a couple to my morning agenda. Since the pages of the Rocket Book are erasable, I know I can always change the plan if needed. Perhaps I get on a roll with my writing, and don’t start the laundry before I clock into work. No big deal, I can erase it and move it to my lunch break.
This solves one of the biggest issues with my previous routines. When I was trying to hit the same marks every day, sometimes I just didn’t have the capacity. Then I’d feel like I was failing, and sometimes give up on the task entirely. Now I can accept that being autistic and a migraineur means I won’t always have the same number of spoons to work with. I’ve learned to strike a balance of setting recurring tasks on certain days, but deciding the day of when or if I do the task. It’s a good balance of routine versus freedom, and keeps me moving on my goals without so much burnout.
Keep it Simple
Finally, certain things have vanished entirely from my morning routine. Having a buzzcut means no more heat styling. Instead, I pick a time on the weekend to buzz my whole head. On office days, I wash my face, put on SPF, and let go of the makeup routine unless it sounds fun. Meditation will be there waiting for me at lunch, when I need a reset anyway. And exercise just seems to work better for me right after work. It’s a reliable way to shake off the stress of the day and relax me for the evening.
I’d invite you to consider what you are doing in the morning that doesn’t feel like it is actually for you. Or what might just work better at a different time of day. Especially with social media use, you might find that you’re comparing yourself to others, or doing things more so for appearances than for any tangible benefit. If that is the case, consider letting that task go! I don’t deny the difficulty this can involve. Beauty standards, for example, create so much pressure for women to spend extra time in the morning. Yet I hope that by showing my bare face at the office, others feel more comfortable doing so!
Happier and Healthier
There was a lot of difficulty inherent in accepting that my morning routine needed to be simpler and more accommodating. I can’t argue with results, though, and my mental health has improved since making these changes. I think my biggest fear was that I would “not get anything done” if I did not pack my morning full of stressful tasks. The irony was that I was actually seeing this fear come to life by forcing morning productivity that was leading to burnout. Now that I have a routine that is built specifically for my autistic brain, I’m on a much healthier path!
What works for you in the morning as an autistic adult? Let me know in the comments!
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Need a place to record your morning routine? Check out the Time Warp hardcover notebook.
